There is this really great tune by Leonard Cohen. It’s called Anthem. In this tune there is a line that always jumped out at me during those times back in the day when I listened to too much Leonard Cohen. “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” I just always thought that was so righteous. By that, I mean terribly cool.
I want you to know there are many roads to invincibility. I want you to know that you and your sweetheart or your best friend will travel different roads to get there. Be assured of that. In fact, there will be NO ONE on your road to invincibility but you. And one more thing, if there IS someone else on your road, then you’re not on your road to invincibility, you’re on someone else’s. That goes for that other person, too. Aside from being a little confusing, that sounds lonely, right? I absolutely, positively agree. It does sound lonely.
But it’s not.
So, I’m going to help you get past – at least this one thing – that might contribute to the lovingly curated road blocks you’ve amassed over time all based on how something sounds.
Have you ever fallen apart? I mean, sat on the bed or the sofa or the floor or behind the wheel or under a tree or in an elevator or at the hotel window or under – or even at the edge – of a bridge…and just utterly LOST your composure? I mean your composure is nowhere to be found. It’s LOST. Tears. Fears. Too many beers. Too many years. Impossible to make clear. Exhausted and disgusted that those feelings dare to stand so NEAR to you…all…the…time?
If you have, then you, my sweet friend, have what it takes to be invincible.
This is actually a bit of accelerated material in terms of scope for the therapeutic journeys on which I love to accompany people. I decided that for those individuals who are not ready to reach out, here is a rugged nugget for you.
You may or you may not recall the (sometimes fleeting) seconds after a jolly good cry wherein you feel like a newborn babe. You are empty, you are fresh, you are exempt from any responsibility, you are directionless, standing at the door of what’s next and staring into the peephole…and seeing nothing but light. Indescribable light.
Now, depending upon how often you allow yourself to fall apart – and we do either allow or disallow this to happen based on all sorts of biological mechanics – you may or may not recall this sliver of time with the indescribable light. It is the easiest thing to overlook when we’ve just finished breaking down because the (emotionally) natural tendency is to slip right smack back into the state in which we sat before the deluge, which feels nothing like invincible.
What I want is for you to understand that EVERYONE falls apart some time or another time in their life. And if you say, “Well, I never knew old so and so to have ever had a moment of weakness, never cried, blah blah blah”…I say, what about that heart attack or stroke? What about that ulcer? What about that sparkling disposition? Hmph! Never had a moment of weakness. Tell me another.
Your moment – or second – of assurance that you ARE, indeed, invincible, is the whispering gasp and draw of breath before that first tear breaks the surface, right near your optical nerve. And if you can suspend time for long enough during the inaugural cascade of that first crocodile tear I want you to tell yourself – I mean TELL yourself…this is not a request – you will stop, sit there, and allow yourself to expel every ounce of every system-clogging nonsense you have inside you and – this is the important part – that you WILL endure it. You WILL let it go willingly. You WILL not ask for it back. You WILL accept that you will be in one, beautiful, bold, and badass piece when the last drop drops.
And it’s perfectly acceptable, and even possibly recommended to do it all into a pillow. Hey, it might surprise you how much more willing you are to emote…just don’t hold it for too tight, too long, you dig? Pillows are waaaay more effective than emojis.
Invincible is “I can do this.”
Invincible is “I can move through this.”
Invincible is “I can say this.”
Invincible is “I can rock just as much confidence after saying that.”
Invincible is “I am going to do ALL OF THAT and it’s going to be EASY.”
Invincible is “I trust myself to listen to my gut…to get real chummy with my instinct.”
Invincible is now.
Invincible is always.
And INVINCIBILITY is at its most INVINCIBLE when you can do all of this with grace, even the pillow scream, my friend.
If you’re feeling a little on the weak side, a little on the short-on-confidence side, I recommend you fall apart…and be ready…because when that bright blast of light comes through right when the curtain starts to close and you’re nervous system has finally started waving the white flag of surrender, that’s YOUR light, my friend.
Don’t you dare snuff it out. Your answer to EVERYTHING is on the other side of that peep hole.